When I found out my best friend was pregnant I was, of course, ecstatic- I mean what could be better than my favorite person in the world creating a teeny tiny person?
I remember the text message from Amira's dad letting me know it was probably time to start heading to the hospital. Driving there I was so nervous, excited, worried, happy and not really knowing what to expect. I was with Amira in the delivery room up until the point she was told she would have to deliver by c-section and at that time had to leave. I remember seeing Avery being carried down the hall and looking at her through the small circular door window.
Isn't it insane that we have babies? That we create these little humans who will pick up traits of ours and form their own opinions and go on living their own lives? I don't think I really, truly, understood what a baby can do to your life until Avery came along.
To be honest, in the beginning, I didn't really know how to be there for Amira. I would visit but she was struggling with breastfeeding and I felt so helpless. I wanted to help but there wasn't really anything I could do and I felt sad; almost like I was failing at my job of being a best friend.
WOW- that entry was from 1/22/2015. I never finished it and it's been sitting in my draft box ever since. I guess I thought it would be fitting to finally post it the week of Avery's 4th birthday. It's funny looking back because I realize that while I think I'm a good friend, I also have a really hard time when those close to me are going through something hard. I think too much. I'm always worrying that I'm not doing the right thing; being there too much or too little, and I spin myself into this oblivion of anxiety which results in just withdrawing and waiting until I'm told I am needed. I remember feeling that way when Amira had Avery, but of course over time it faded. Amira has always been good about telling me she needs or wants me there, and I think that is why our relationship has been so great all of these years; she always makes me feel like she can never get too much of me, and that's a really great feeling to have.
4 years of having little miss Avery in my life. I can't even describe the love I have for her. I told Matt I would jump in front of a bullet for her, and I meant it more than I've ever meant anything. She is so special. She is hilarious; I mean really, really funny. She is so incredibly loving. She is playful and happy and laughs any chance she gets; you have never seen a brighter light. I count down to the days I get to see her, and I'm sad when I have to leave. She has become one of my favorite human beings and someone I know I can't live without. She has been such a gift in my life and I am thankful for her every.single.day. Happy Birthday, sweet girl.
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