I am the worst

On December 18th of 2013 (almost a year ago exactly) I posted about how I am the worst blogger. Well..it still rings true; I am the worst blogger. I think it's been about 10 months since I have written anything. How do I even start? I can't even get into the big things because it's just too much to catch up on. BUT I can certainly summarize a thing or two:

1. Saw Tom Petty for the 5th time (but it was Matt's first!)
2. Saw the Counting Crows (something I have wanted to do since I was 14)
3. Saw Jerry Seinfeld stand-up- this is huge. I can't even talk about it because I get too emotional on       how happy it made me.
4. I got married to the love of my life.
5. We went to New Zealand and Australia for 3 1/2 weeks and just got back!

Of course there are plenty of other amazing things that happened along the way but those are the major points for me :)

Now that the year is yet again coming to an end it's a time to reflect back but also plan ahead. I am huge on making plans and writing lists and having everything all figured out. Matt and I have decided to make 2015 the year of traveling. We want to go to as many places as we can (taking into consideration vacation time, argh) in the next year! So far on the list we have Texas, Costa Rica, Arizona, Michigan, Rome, New Mexico, and Guatemala. Yes we may be dreaming but who cares, I love it! We also want to open our own movie theater, own a pet lamb, and run a fishing lodge. We have a big list of dreams some that may never happen but it's still exciting just the same.

I am looking forward to the new year and even though it's really just another day on January 1st there is still something exciting about the calendar turning over. It can be fresh starts, new beginnings, more adventures- anything you want it to be.

I am hoping something blog worthy will happen to me in the next month or so. It's hard for me to blog if I don't have a funny story. My recipes are all pretty much the same- I recycle the same 5 things over and over and over again so I can't really blog about that. I am childless and I don't have enough money to shop and be fashionable because I spend it all on coffee, food, dog treats, and traveling. So in that respect I am totally blog unworthy.

-catchya on the flip

Oh! For the past 6 months or so I have tried thinking of sayings other than "I died" or "I die" or "I can't". They're too played out in my opinion. I tried a new on on Amira which was- "'I'm limp". She seriously hated it. I tried it a few times through text and she didn't seem to catch on so I let it go for a bit...I texted her with it a few months later and she said, "Please don't try to bring that back".

Anyways, I'm on to something new and it's "call NASA". Here is the context:

Amira: Avery just used the bathroom for the first time!!
Kandi: I don't believe it!! Call NASA.
(because I am so mind blown that I need to fly to the moon)

Anyways, I'm going to try it on her this weekend and we will see how it all pans out.

Do you ski?

Whenever the topic of snow or mountains comes up I often hear people ask, “Do you ski?” I have never really known if I ski because I had only been once when I was 12 with my best friend’s family. I can barely remember what it was like but I remember being cold and standing around (maybe I never actually went down the hill). When Matt and I decided to go to Colorado this past weekend for V-day and his Birthday, the plan would be to spend two days in the mountains so Matt could ski; it’s his favorite thing. The original plan was he would ski and I would get a massage and hang out at the lodge (sounded great to me). As time went on I had this nagging feeling that I should try to ski and see if I enjoyed it. I thought it would be cool if I ended up enjoying an activity that Matt loved so much so we could share those times together. I also felt that I should challenge myself and do something I hadn’t really ever tried. I came home from work one day and said, “Matt, I am going to ski too!” He was excited about my enthusiasm and he booked our lift tickets; it was set in stone.

Matt has his own ski gear that he brought with him but we knew I would have to rent my gear. Can I just say something- why is there so much fricken’ gear to slide down a mountain?

I had these boots on and you can’t straighten your legs when you stand so it’s like you are about to sit on the toilet the whole time. You walk like a dinosaur tromping around while your ankles are throbbing. I had to carry the skis over my shoulder and the poles in my opposite hand. I felt like I was a pack horse slugging over to Death Valley, except it was freezing. Matt was very patient waiting while I stopped to huff and regain my strength. We arrived at the bunny hill filled with 3 year olds who looked excited to hop on the lift. Matt taught me how to insert my boots on the skis and I felt like a transformer going into battle. It just doesn’t seem normal to have these long, skinny, paddles attached to your feet trying to go up a little incline. I felt so amateur. There were literally 3 year olds flying down the hill and I could barely get courage to go up it. The lift wasn't even a real one; it was this pole you put between your legs to pull you up the smallest slope in the world. Once I got to the top I froze..not froze like temperature but froze like what the hell am I doing on top of this hill. In fact, I started sweating profusely. I jammed my poles into the snow and told Matt I couldn’t do it. He was a saint. He was so patient and I felt bad because I knew the whole time he could be flying down the hills instead of being stuck with me. He patiently explained how I was supposed to go down the hill and that I needed to make giant S’s I couldn’t get my inside leg to turn and my skis would end up crossing each other. I didn’t want to point straight down because then I knew I would pick up speed and plummet to my death where all the 3 year olds would laugh at me.

I finally got down the mole hill and then I went again. The next time I felt confident and picked up some speed…I cracked a smile.

Matt told me he was really proud of me and it made me feel good and even more confident. I said, “Let’s go to a bigger one”. I was thinking the one right next to the mole hill which was like two mole hills but Matt said, “Let’s take the real lift”. I guess my memory was suppressing itself because when he said that and I looked up I suddenly remember what happened when I was 12. I got on the lift and when getting off I was trampled by the people after me…I didn’t get out of the way fast enough. I started sweating and hesitantly agreed. We got in line and I had total anxiety about where to go, how to sit, when to get up….not falling off the lift when we were 30 feet up. I kept telling Matt, “I can’t believe they don’t have seat belts; how is this legal?” I could see the end of the lift and my heart started pounding. Matt said, “Okay just stand up when I do”. Stand up when he does, stand up when he does, stand up when he does. I stood up and went flying down crashing into Matt. Luckily, I never fell getting off the lifts (although I came really close). We went down some bigger hills and you know what, for about 15 minutes I actually had a great time.

I told Matt we needed to find food because I was getting hangry so we skied over to the little restaurant in the mountains. Again, tromping around like a T-Rex trying to find a place to sit, we chowed down on pizza and salad. I kept telling Matt, “There is too much stuff to wear in skiing and we have to lug all this crap around. I am more into sports where I am free and just jump in- like swimming” (because I swim all of the time- not-).  I was feeling guilty that Matt was spending all the time with me, the snail, so I forced him to go on bigger slopes by himself. I sat in the lodge and people watched. I just can’t believe how many kids ski. I think they are so successful at it because they haven’t developed that fear of falling and injuring themselves. I kind of wish I could get that freedom of fear back. Matt got back and we decided we would do one last hill and take it all the way back down to the village. We would be taking the ‘easy’ route and jumped up on the lift to head up. While on the lift I noticed we were going a lot higher than I had envisioned in my mind but I kept my calm. I had ended on a more confident note with the last slopes so I wasn’t really thinking too much of it. We got to the top and oh.my.god. It was one of those hills where you look at it and you can’t see the end- like it’s not a hill; it’s a circle. I crept up over the edge and literally panicked. Again. 3 year olds flying down. I hated them. I hated them for making me feel like a small little weasel. I told Matt, “There is no way I can do this”. I must have sat at the top of that hill for 15 minutes just standing there. My mind was racing; I was like a trapped rat. I knew I had to get down but I knew I couldn’t do it. Thank god for Matt and his patience and willingness to wait with me. He said, “Just follow what I am doing and we will get down together”. He said, “Pretend you are on the bachelor and this is a testimony of your love for me”. He was literally digging deep to get me down this hill. I crept down the first hill and then at the bottom of it I fell; for. the. first. time. I started crying. I wasn’t crying because it hurt but because I felt so bad for myself. I couldn’t get up and I was laying in the snow and I just wanted to be by the fire in a warm cozy bed. I was feeling so pathetically sorry for myself. I was also mad that I couldn’t suck it up and participate in an activity that everyone else around me seemed to love. People were flying past me laughing and yelling to their loved ones about the route they were taking next. What was wrong with me? Matt helped me up and then I looked down to see rows and rows of circle steep hills and I cried even more. I told him, “I can’t do this. Get me a worker on a snow mobile to take me down. I only wanted to ski so you would like that I wanted to ski too and you would be happy and love that you had a wife who skied with you. I never wanted to do this. I am in hell right now”.  I was being really dramatic. I lost it. I was literally freaking out and panicking. I stood at the top of the next hill for about 20 minutes and then Matt talked me in to following what he did to get down. It took about 2 hours to get down the hill and I stopped about 5 times to cry.

Whenever I am feeling like I need more confidence in my life I will look at pictures of Nicholas Cage. I always say, what would Cage do? I love him and he is always so bad ass in movies. Matt told me on the mountain, “Cage would be shredding these slopes”. He was right. Even Cage couldn’t save me from this fear. It was really sad. I kept telling Matt. “Go without me I don’t want you to waste your time with me”. He never left me once and he got me down the mountain.

Afterwards, we went for drinks and our waiter asked, "How did you do with skiing"? I laughed and said, “Well I guess I hated it. I don’t like heights and I don’t really like going down them at a fast pace”. He looked at me confused like, 'why did you think skiing would be for you then'. Ha-ha. He also said it’s a known fact that skiing can ruin relationships if your significant other tries to teach you. Matt and I laughed about it but after I thought if anything it had brought us closer. I wanted to ski to make Matt happy and he recognized that. I recognized that even at my worst Matt will always be patient and stay by my side. We appreciated each other for our efforts but at the end of the day we know that we don’t have to enjoy everything the other person enjoys and that is okay. While we were outside by this fire pit Matt stepped away; when he came back he told me he booked a full body massage for me to enjoy the next day.

They rubbed me down with lavender and put hot towels on my feet- it was perfect. I got Matt another lift ticket so he could ski while I got my massage and he said it was a perfect day with soft snow. It all worked out in the end.

 Now when people ask, “Do you ski”? I casually say, “Eh..I dabbled in it for a bit but I prefer activities where my body isn’t drenched in gear…. You know, like swimming”. 

Are Dogs Like Children?

I am pretty sure it drives most parents crazy when they hear a non-parent person say, “Well, I have a dog so I am pretty prepared to have a child”. I always try and watch my surroundings or see who I am with before I make this statement. Having many friends with kids I know that when I jokingly say this I am not actually completely confident that having a dog will make me a good mother. I can put my dog in a crate and go to Rite Aid for two hours while I browse the ‘As seen on TV' section and I am almost positive that wouldn’t make for a good parent. I do have to pick up their poop and sometimes I wipe the bottom of their feet which would be like wiping a babies butt…but then again, maybe not. I think that maybe in the beginning when an infant sleeps a lot of the time, that it will be like Oscar and Diego napping for 18 hours out of the day while I lay on the couch and watch Seinfeld…but maybe that won’t be the case. I take my dogs to a dog park and there are other dog parents there and all of our dogs run wild and stand around peeing and pooping. We all yell their names when they wonder too far and sometimes they don’t listen…why yes there are those similarities.

I think people say this because at that point it may be the closest thing they have had to so much responsibility for someone else’s life. I feel like Oscar and Diego are my children at this point in my life because they are the ones I worry about getting sick…or getting hurt. I worry that they may not have food in their dish and that they need fresh water. I worry that they get cold at night or that they get lonely when I am away. I buy them toys to make them happy and I feel content when they look cozy. Until I actually have a kid you might catch me slipping up and saying my dogs are my children and that I am already well prepared. Please do not hold this against me when I am a parent complaining about the people who have dogs who think they are already parents because really it’s all relevant, right?

Possibly the cutest little thing I have ever seen.

Matt and I were with some friends one night when he blurted to the table, “We have to go..I have an errand to run and we have to get there before 9”. I asked him what he was talking about and he wouldn’t say. We jumped up and headed to wherever it was he had to go. We peeled up in front of Toys R Us at 8:47 and he said, “I have to get my niece (Avery) a present for her first Birthday!” I had already gotten some gifts which he had no real recollection of when I got them or what they were…like most men, so it really melted my heart that he wanted to go and pick out his very own gift to give to her. We walked in and I told myself that I would not say ANYTHING about what I think he should get her. I just followed him around curiously wondering what he would pick. He said he wanted to get her a stuffed animal. I didn’t have the heart to tell him she already had 5 million that were piling out of her little stuffed animal box in her room and so I smiled and said, "She will love that!"He wondered the aisle picking up some…touching the soft ones…and finally he chose this really realistic looking tiger (figures). I have to admit, it was really soft and kind of cute that it looked so real. I texted Amira and told her and she was laughing and saying how it was the sweetest thing she ever heard!

I am not really telling this story to boast about my nice fiancé but really to share what Amira has been sharing with me for the past week since Avery got her Tiger; perhaps the cutest pictures in the world.

Amira said Avery loves sleeping with the tiger and most times she is hugging it although Amira hasn't been able to catch all of those on the blurry monitor. I love that she is with her tiger but I am also dying at her cute little pj’s and sweet little body and face. Each time Amira sends me a picture I of course show Matt and if you could see his face…such happiness and pride; it’s really quite cute. Anyways, I just had to share sweet little Avery and her Tiger…love her. 

Thank goodness for Mother in Laws and good recipes!

So I was telling Matt's mom that I am just the worst cook in the world and feel bad for Matt. He is so used to his mom's wonderful cooking and then he has to marry me who really has about 3 recipes in rotation for the week. She was so nice of course telling me about all the things I have made for different holidays and how great they were but let's face it...I can't do anything without a recipe. Anyways, she was telling me about this easy rice she used to make all of the time for Matt and his dad and how much they loved it...and most of all how easy it is! So I made it on Saturday night and OH. MY. GOSH. It is so easy and really, really, really delicious! You better believe this is the new addition to my weekly rotation. I am so happy!!!!!!!!!

What you need:

1 lb. or ground turkey (I bought the taco seasoned one)

½ cup shredded cheddar cheese

2 cups of instant rice

2 garlic cloves diced

1 green bell pepper diced

½ white onion dices

8 oz tomato sauce

15 oz can of diced tomatoes

(2) 4 oz cans of diced green chiles

15 oz can filled with water

Salt

Garlic powder

What you do:

Dice up the garlic/bell pepper and onion and place in a large skillet (you will be adding everything to this skillet so make sure it’s big enough) and add some olive oil. Let that heat up and cook for about 10 minutes to get the juices and flavors flowing.

Meanwhile, I cooked the turkey in a different skillet so I could drain the grease before adding to the veggies.

Once the turkey is cooked and drained add it to the sautéed bell pepper, onion, and garlic. Mix all together and then add in the can of tomatoes sauce and can of diced tomatoes (don’t drain).

At this time I start pre-heating the oven to 350. I also get a casserole dish out for later.

Once the juices are bubbling I add in the salt and garlic powder (just a few sprinkles for each) and I add in the 2 cups of instant white rice and the can of water. Give it a good stir! I then cover the skillet for about 5 minutes (I checked a few times to stir it up). Once you think the rice is cooked turn the heat off. Then dump everything into the casserole dish, sprinkle with the cheddar cheese, and place in the oven for about 15 minutes (until the cheese on top is melted or crispy like Matt likes it!

Honestly, this dish was a true gift. I know it’s just considered a Spanish rice and maybe everyone has known about it but me…but I feel so extremely happy that it is so easy, delicious, and filling. Matt and I were able to have it for 3 different meals (2 dinners and one lunch). We ate it just by itself and it was very filling. If you wanted to get crafty you could make up some refried beans too and have it with. 

I also like this recipe because you can make it your own. Really, you can change it and tailor it however you want. If you want to add beef instead of chicken..or pulled pork..and you can switch out the bell pepper for something else if you wanted. It was just so good. Trust me on this one! You won't regret it. 

It was the little things...

I was walking with my friend today and we were talking about back in the day when we took field trips in school. I said, “Remember when your parents would go on the field trip as a chaperone?” I remember it just being the best feeling that my very own parents were coming with my class and we were going on a trip. I remember feeling so comforted by the fact that my mom and/or dad were there if I needed anything. It was the ultimate security in a place unknown; with new friends and scary teachers. It made me want to think of all the other little things I could recall from my childhood that made me feel good.

It was the little things.

1). The feeling I had when one of my parents would come on a field trip with my class.

2). The sound of the ice cream truck

3). Going to the movies with out any parents.

4). Getting out of the pool and laying my body down on the warm cement.

5). Having a crush.

6). Getting out of grade school and walking home with friends.

7). Drinking the boxed chocolate milk from the cafeteria.

8). Watching Saturday morning cartoons.

9). Laying in the back shell of the truck with my brother on the way to the river.

10). Riding my bike around the neighborhood pretending that it was a horse.

11). Sliding down the grass slope on cardboard and pretending there was lava at the bottom. 

As I get older and my imagination has faded some...I try and remind myself every day that it really is the little things that can bring us so much joy. 

Happy Friday. xo

So I didn't really come up with a ‘resolution’ but there are a few things I want to do. I want to do less of my cell phone. Everyone gave me a hard time for having my flip phone but you know what, it was kind of nice. I just get so mad when I find that I am browsing my phone just because. I really want to be more in the moment and not care so much about social media. I really love to keep up with friends and family but sometimes it’s just too much and I think looking at that small/big screen for so long is going to have some serious damage on my eyes. The month of January Matt and I cut out drinking and it’s actually been fine. I love having a glass of wine on a girl’s night out but you know what, I don’t HAVE to have it. Now my meals are less calories and the bill is half the cost! I am hoping I will like it so much that I continue it throughout the year and only drink on really special occasions (like my wedding). This wasn't really an intentional New Years thing but it’s been about a week and a half since Matt and I have had meat and we said well let’s keep goin! I know my future will have burgers, pulled pork, and chicken wings in it but I also know that I don’t need meat for every meal and it’s kind of nice taking a break and focusing on veggies, fruit, and other nutrients. I have been slowly weeding meat out of my diet for quite some time and for various reasons so I am not that sad to see it go. OH! I cut out coffee! I have actually been getting over coffee for the past couple of months. It seems like every time I buy a cup of coffee I only drink half. I end up microwaving it half way through the day, take another sip just to let it sit again…I end up throwing it away at the end of the day. I just don’t really feel like my body needs coffee in order to function and I was really just drinking it for the ritual; I loved getting it in the morning when it was chilly and sipping it while I checked emails at work. I have since switched over to tea and an occasional hot chocolate. Anyways, I thought instead of having a resolution that Matt and I would make a list of things we want to do this year…oh how I love and live for lists! So anyways here is my list for 2014 in no particular order.

1. Get married!
2. Paint 10 different paintings on canvas
3. continue studying Spanish and be ¾ fluent!
4. get to an 8 minute mile
5. move to a new place (still in SD)
6. Pay off all of my cc debt (a reality as of March 2014!)
7. go to 5 new spots in San Diego (nature type hideaways)
8. See Jerry Seinfeld in Vegas
9. See Tom Petty with Matt (please, please, please have a 2014 tour!)
10. go beach camping
11. Learn 5 new recipes (master them)
12. Use Matt’s nice camera and start taking pictures of pretty things
13. write more letters and send them through the snail mail

At this time this list is all I can think of…I might add to it but not sure. I almost feel like I should make a 14^th thing since it’s 2014 but that’s just my perfectionist side taunting me.

Hope everyone had a nice New Years and starts the year off with a hopeful outlook on what 2014 has in store.