I just can't do it...

I have been the worst at blogging. I just can't find the time or decide on anything that's worthy of writing about. I've lost motivation to take pictures of the meals step by step and I just can't do it anymore. 

I did however, make a recipe last night that was so good Matt and I agreed to put it in the weekly rotation. The recipe was super easy and REALLY delicious. Here it is:

http://www.domesticate-me.com/grilled-vegetable-quesadilla/

I, of course used Sriracha on mine but it has enough flavor to do without. It was really really good! 

Here is a quick update on what's been going on:

1. I have lost interest in my wedding. NOT in a bad way but it's still so far away that its hard to start doing anything because it's just too soon. I am however, going wedding dress shopping in February so I think once that happens it will be full steam ahead. 

2. I cannot believe Christmas is in a week!!!! 7 days! I am celebrating Christmas in Murrieta with my mom, dad, brother, and Matt on the 21st because my brother will be in town for a wedding. I am really excited! Matt and I are going to stay the night Saturday night and wake up Sunday in our pj's and open presents with my family. On Christmas Eve I am going to a fancy dinner downtown with my in-laws and then on Christmas my parents will be joining Matt and I over at Matt's parents place in Little Italy where we can all hang out together and eat good food and drink good wine! I am really excited. 

3. A few months ago I was really focusing on losing weight...I got over that. I haven't weighed myself in over a month and it feels really good. I have reached a point where I am happy with my body and most of all I just want to be healthy. I don't think it really matters how skinny you are but as long as you are taking care of yourself and getting the right nutrients....that's all that really matters. Matt and I work out about 3 times a week and eat relatively good. I still have dessert pretty much every day and I am loving every minute of it. 

4. I haven't really thought of any New Year's resolutions and don't know if I will make any. I really can't ask for anything more right now. I have never in my entire life been happier. 

5. Actually....scratch that...we need to move (my New Years resolution!). Lately I have been a total B about our living space. I can't handle it anymore and Matt and I have agreed that in Spring of 2014 we will upgrade to a 2 bedroom. I am really excited :)   (the dogs really need their own room and I might buy them bunk beds). 

I think that's pretty much it. I just don't know how anyone keeps up on a blog or for that matter- keeps it interesting. I plan on checking in from time to time but don't expect too much :) xo. 

Thursdays are for stories.

Throwback Thursday Story time.

I know the usually throwback Thursday is for photos but I thought it would be fun to do a story time memory instead. Maybe I can try doing one every Thursday but I don’t want to get ahead of myself.

One of my favorite stories starts off on a cold, foggy, morning when I was getting ready to go to school at Alta Murrieta. I was in the third grade with nappy hair and bottle cap glasses. I would walk about a mile or so to school with friends but some mornings could be pretty chilly so my mom would put my jacket in the dryer before I headed off so that I was warm. My jacket was a huge, over-stuffed, cotton candy pink jacket that I wore every single day.

On this particular morning while eating breakfast my family and I smelled the worst skunk smell in the house. This wasn’t really uncommon as there were plenty of skunks around the neighborhood and a lot of dogs in the yards. We knew it must have been really close as the smell was so pungent. We ate breakfast and my mom went and fetched my jacket. While walking to school I realized the skunk smell had lingered on me from home and still smelled pretty strongly. Figuring it would wear off by the time I got to school I kept on going.

I had Mrs. Shannon who was your stereotypical ‘mean’ elementary school teacher that had no sense of humor. Looking back, I wonder if she was really that mean or if I just really hated fractions and math. The school wasn’t fully developed yet as the city was just new so all of the classrooms were mobile buildings.

I arrived at class, sat in my little desk, and put away my backpack. About 30 minutes into the lesson I heard my classmates whispering about how bad it smelled in the classroom. I didn’t really think much of it at this point but wondered if they were talking about the skunk stench. About five minutes after that, Mrs. Shannon picked up the phone and I could hear her asking for the janitorial office. About 10 minutes after that she announced that,“There might be a skunk under the building”.

I remember thinking….so maybe this is about the skunk smell. I was nervous but I also didn't want to say anything because I was so embarrassed. I can still remember it so clearly; just sitting there not knowing what to do. The janitor came and asked the class to evacuate so that they could look under the building. We all lined up against the building while the grown-ups discussed what actions would be taken to get the skunk.

This is where my memory fades me….for the life of me I cannot remember how it came about that everyone realized the smell was coming from me. I don’t know if a classmate told on me or if I finally confessed. I don’t know if Mrs. Shannon pulled me aside and said, “You stink”…but whatever happened in those dreadful 10 min I have no recollection. I just remember after the fact standing away from all of my classmates while the janitor went to get a plastic bag for my jacket. I remember standing there with my fluffy, pink jacket all bundled up in the bag and I think I may have been crying softly which was steaming up my bifocals. My mom came and picked me up and we headed home.

I remember the shenanigans at the house trying to figure out what had occurred- such a mystery. Well, a few days later my dad solved it. He took apart the dryer and pulled a scorched- crispy- black-burnt skunk corpse from the motor of the dryer. Turns out the little rascal had climbed up into the dryer and when my mom went to dry my jacket she scorched him sending his entire potion spray onto my jacket.

We couldn't believe it! It was really something out of a movie. It has always been one of my all time favorite stories to tell people. Sometimes I don’t mind when embarrassing things happen to me because they are always the greatest stories to tell afterwards. My mom felt awful for sending her 7 year old to school covered in skunk juice but what are you gonna do? Happy Thursday. 

You belong somewhere you feel free…

Yes, it’s a line in a Tom Petty song. It was also framed and given to me by my sweet friend, Kelly. I have it in my house and look at it almost every morning if I am not running late.

                                                                          

It got me thinking this morning on my way to work about things/places/experiences that really make me feel free. There are of course tons of things that make me happy, comfortable, content but free is a special one. That feeling when you are taken aback and have your breathe taken away from the freedom you are feeling in that very moment. You kind of take a look at life and think, wow. I thought I would make a list of these things so that I could always go back to them and see what it is that gives me this freedom feeling.

1. Walking along an empty beach.
2. Driving on the freeway when there is no traffic and listening to Tom Petty (preferably  "Wake up time").
3. When I see the sun shining through a bunch of trees.
4. Dancing. Anytime, anywhere, any song….well maybe not any song but you get my drift.
5. Swimming. 
6. drinking coffee on a patio looking out at morning fog.
7. riding my bike.
8. painting.
9. writing.
10. Taking a bath in the dark with a bunch of candles all around. 
11. Riding a horse. 

It’s comforting to see that all of the things I listed are for the most part free of monetary cost. I guess that makes sense why free is in freedom. What makes you feel this way?  

Why my mom is special.

There is an obvious reason why I am glad my mother was born (she was able to have me!) but aside from that there are several other reasons why my mother is special to me. My mom's quirky, loving, fun, silly, and caring ways are what shaped me into the person I am today and I couldn't be more thankful. Here is my top ten list of my most thankful qualities my mom has passed on to me:

1. My love for animals. My mom loves every little critter in the universe; she even saved a tarantula from a wasp and kept it alive in a little dirt pot until it was mobile enough to leave. I think we have owned every kind of legal animal and brought home way too many puppies without my dads permission.  She has nursed back wild animals who were left by their mother and always tried returning lost dogs to their owners. My mom has passed on this love for little critters to me and it is something that is very fulfilling in my life.My brother and I both love animals and are always looking to help them. It's not just about loving a creature of this world but it has also taught me responsibility and what it means to love and care for something.

2. My selflessness. My mother is the most selfless human being I have ever met. Every single thing she has been given she would give to me or my brother without a second thought. She is always putting others before herself in everything she does. Having your number one role model be this type of person is one of the greatest gifts. I always strive to be like her in this way and it isn't always easy!

3. My creativity. My mom can make something out of nothing. Anytime we go somewhere and we see something she says, "We can make that!...how can we...let's think". She has passed this creative ability down to me and I am always taking joy in making things.

4. My weirdness. My mom is definitely weird (but in the best kind of way). She will do anything to make my brother or I laugh. She is always willing to play silly games and do funny things so everyone has a good time. I can't even list examples because I wouldn't know where to stop. As I grew up (and still to this day) I was always the weird one in the group (in the best kind of way) because I did silly, embarrassing things so I could see those around me laugh. My brother is the EXACT same way...it's funny how these things pass on.

5. My love for dancing. I am not a professional dancer by any means but I love turning music up loud and dancing around by myself making up moves as I go. My mom grew up dancing and then she was the coach for my cheer team for 4 years. She has always loved dance music and coming up with good routines to go with the beats. Growing up we always had music on and would dance around. I remember in 9th grade my brother and I made a dance routine to Michael Jackson. I wore my moms wedding dress and danced around while my dad filmed. We had Amira and her boyfriend over and my mom served them hors d'oeuvres and cookies...did I say I was in 9th grade?

6. My gratitude. My mom is thankful for every little thing she gets. She grew up with seven brothers and sisters raised by just her dad who had to work multiple jobs to raise his family. My mom never had much growing up but she always talks about the best memories and how much fun she had with so little. It has given me the great pleasure in realizing that you need a minimal number of material things in order to be happy. It's funny because these days it seems like a child's happiness is based off an expensive computer game or smart phone. My moms life was filled with barely any money or material things but adventures beyond your wildest dreams. When I raise my children I hope to pass on the privilege to be grateful for the little things in life that don't cost a cent.

7. My imagination. This stems from what I mentioned above about her wild adventures; my mom can make something that seems pretty boring be really, really fun .Growing up she has always thought of fun games or adventures we could go on. I remember one time she got my neighborhood friends together and had us all make different animal masks of who we wanted to pretend to be...then we had a little play as those characters. I think I was 10 or 11 and I still remember how much fun that memory was.

8. My confidence. My mom loves me more than anything in this world; I know this without a doubt. I know she thinks the world of me and she would do absolutely anything in this world for me. She thinks I am the prettiest person in the world and that I should have been a model. She thinks I am smart and creative and crafty and silly. My mom is my greatest fan and her love and support is what makes me the confident person I am today. Do I think I am the prettiest person and should have been a model? Heck no! ha-ha but I know she thinks that of me and it feels really good.

9. How to have fun working as a team. I mentioned before my mom was the head coach for my cheer team for several years. Our team was always placed in the top spots. We were kind of that team you would see in the movies where we goofed off entirely too much but when it came down to it we worked hard and pulled it off. We picked on my mom all of the time but she loved it.We called her Tracy Brown Terd and she would yell at us...but her yell was like a little mouse so then we would just laugh. She loved cheering, dancing, music, and our team. She would drive us around in her little, bright blue pinto and we would toilet paper the football player's houses. It was some of the best years of my life and I made some ever lasting friendships. My mom was the one who got me into cheer leading and she was the one who motivated all of us to do our best and work hard but always have fun doing it. She never really punished us for goofing off because she knew we were young girls and that it was all part of living life, growing up, working together, and having fun.

10. How to dream. My mother is a dreamer. I could tell her I was quitting my job and opening up pig wash stand and she would think that is really awesome. Let's see some of the businesses my mom was going to open....she was going to have a biscuit and gravy car stop off where people would pull up in their cars and get this tray that would basically be under their chin so that they could drive and eat biscuits and gravy. She was going to have a hot dog stand right outside of the high school because what hungry teenage boy wouldn't want a hot dog? She thought about writing a book about a new exercise she thought of to lose stomach pooch...the exercise was to scoot yourself around on the ground for 30 minutes. When I first met Matt my mom was on speaker phone telling me how she had been scooting around the house for 45 minutes testing her theory...he stayed with me? I mean the list is endless...I always give her a hard time and say, "You dream too much", but then I find myself at home thinking...hmmm...I could do this...or I could do that. The truth is, just because you dream it up doesn't always mean it's going to happen...but to me the fun is in the dreaming. It's a way to keep your mind going and explore every possibility;  even if it's jumping up to touch the moon- it's a fun dream to have. I am thankful my mom has given me this trait in life.

One day if I am lucky enough, I will have children of my own and I think its important to remember that who we are reflects the lives our children will lead. I hope to take every single trait my mother has instilled in me and teach it to my children so that they can live happy, fulfilling lives. My mom makes me want to be the happiest person I can be because when I see my happiness in her eyes it becomes 1,000 times more clear. It's my mom's birthday today and she means the world to me. Happy Birthday, mom.

A wedding in the making.....

When I got engaged and settled down from all of the excitement I thought to myself, "I wonder what kind of bride I am going to be"? 

I knew I wouldn't be a 'Bridezilla" so to speak and I actually pictured myself pretty laid back about everything. The kind of personality I have I just want to have everything all sorted out within the first week so that I don't have to think about it again until it's actually time to order it or make it happen. So I can honestly say that within about 2-3 weeks I had it all sorted out- the DJ, Photographer, Venue, dessert, decor, songs, attire, bridal party, favors...ya know- the whole shebang. Luckily, Matt is very similar and LOVES being a planner. It was nice to have him as eager as I was to get certain things sorted out. 

After I had it all figured out I thought....well now I am bored- can you have the wedding sooner? Having it sooner ins't really an option for the venue so I will have to wait. Now I am going back to what I decided on and figuring out the exact details of who I am ordering it from and what the cost will be. I just had to share a hilarious conversation Matt and I had on g-chat:

Me: Hey when you get some time can you fill in all of your friend's addresses so we have them in the excel file? Oh and when you have time can you look at these save the dates and tell me which one you like? (I sent him a link to a website of different ones)
Matt: there's over 200! You just pick, I trust you. Just pick your top 4 and I will pick one. 

Me: It's only 4 pages! Fine...here are the one's I like. Hey quick question

I am going to schedule an appointment for the dogs to get groomed/nails clipped

and they take a while- do you think it would be possible for you to take them in on Monday

if I need that..and I can pick them up after work?

Matt:Which place...oh yeah I know- yeah we can walk there...those dogs need exercise. 

Me: Okay so should I get their hair cut? I mean the regular appointment is just nails and bath but maybe I should get their hair cut too so they look good in the photos. 

Matt: i don't care beb...you do ur thing. Wait- what photos? they ain't gonna be in the save the dates

they will be in our xmas photos. 

Me: why notttttttttttt

Matt: No- its about US not the pups

Me: But THEY are about us

Matt: Then lets have the whole family in the save the dates...you realize the save the date is only one picture. It will be harder to take with them because they will be eating all of our food...

Me: But why not a few! Btw, which save the date did you like? 

Matt: I liked the 4th one.

Me: What about the first one?

Matt: that looks like a 5 year old's birthday invite

Me: whatever to that! the girls at the office liked it. But, we all really liked the 4th one too so I guess we will go with that one. 

Matt:lets take the photos first..then go from there

Me: Well I was just looking to see what the cost was...to have an idea. It's about $150.00

Matt: Jesus. Aren't there cheaper ones?

Me: not really..just let me live my life- I only get married once

Matt: hahaa beb wants to blow money on magnets

So this just made me crack up. Matt is clearly the more logical one in the relationship  I am very fond of my last line " Just let me live my life- I only get married once" over some magnet save the dates. Sometimes I love just being dramatic for the heck of it and chuckling about it after. Luckily, Matt and I's relationship is so silly he gets my drama and finds me rather entertaining which is why we will say "I do" on 9/27/14. PS. you better believe Oscar and Diego will make a cameo in those save the dates....maybe not magnet status but they will sneak in a photo or two ;) 

Doughnut vs. Donut

Here is what you need...seriously- this is it.

Canola oil (enough to be about an inch high in the pan)
Cinnamon 
Sugar
pre-made biscuit mix (you know the ones you get at the store in the tubes that scare the hell out of me when they pop open)

Growing up, my favorite morning treat was waking up to my mom making donuts. There was just something about a home-made (well sort of home-made donut). I decided I was going to make these for Matt on Sunday morning to carry on the morning- treat- donut- tradition. 

So you get these pre-maid exploding container biscuits and you open them up by closing your eyes and pulling....then you take them and separate them out on a plate because you need to make them in the shape of a donut. I grabbed a shot glass but you can grab anything that's a good size to make the center of the hole as well as the donut hole part ( I love a donut hole).

Once you get all the shapes figured out you grab a bowl and pour in equal amounts of sugar and cinnamon- enough to coat all the donuts you prepped. 

I also get 2 plates- One with a paper towel to drain off some of the oil and the other for the finished product after its been all sugared up.

Now everything is prepped so you pour canola oil in a skillet and you turn it to medium heat. Once you feel some heat coming off- grab some tongs and put as many donuts as you can fit in the pan. **** this is not a breakfast you make while doing other errands around the house- the donuts cook up fast. There is nothing I hate more than some burnt ass donuts so make sure you turn them when they need it. I do all the donuts first and then the donut holes...it just gives me a peace of mind. 

Once they have cooked on each side I move them to the dry off plate where some of the oil can soak off onto the paper towel....then I transfer it to the sugaring hole (bowl with sugar and cinnamon) and mix it all around. From there it goes to the finished product plate and viola!!! I served a dozen to Matt with a hot cup of coffee while he laid in bed watching Star Wars- yes I scored points that day. 

Friday's aren't what they used to be

The other night (well, it was a Friday night) Matt and I got home from work around 4:30...walked the dogs...and then we got into our pajamas. We were just hanging out....trying to pick a first dance song for the wedding, listening to records, sitting with the dogs, and watching Anthony Bourdain. At one point I went in the bedroom to get something and got a glimpse of myself in the mirror...and I thought, my god Friday's aren't what they used to be. I remember a Friday night being this glorious night of getting off work, getting dolled up, and going out. Here I was in my mis-matched pajamas with the bottoms pulled up way too high, no make-up, glasses, and hair back. I walked into the living room where Matt was and he was slouched on the couch in his flannels with his legs spread and I started laughing so hard. I said, "I have to blog about this"....(that is why he is rolling his eyes when I snapped the photo). 

I think a lot of people, most of the time (including myself) are quick to post pictures of the fun outings they are on and all the adventures and trips and glamorous nights....but not enough people point out the real-life-in-my -thirties type of nights and I wanted to. My favorite Friday nights are always the ones when I am in pj's way too early on a couch with friends laughing the night away. 

We went through the drive-thru of Roberto's and ate greasy Mexican food...then we got into bed at 8 to watch a scary movie and Matt fell asleep by 9. 

It was a perfect night and I think it's important to recognize the life in these simple, uneventful moments. Don't ever let yourself think if you aren't going out, that you aren't doing anything. xo 

Givin it up.

Me: "Matt?"
Matt: "Yes?"
Me: "I have something serious to talk to you about"
Matt: "Okay...."
Me: "It's going to affect you immensely so you need to hear me out and figure out how you are going to deal with it"
Matt: "Okay....."
Me: "People will be staring and pointing and whispering...you might not want to be seen with me. You might possibly want to break off the engagement"
Matt: "What is it!"
Me: "I have decided to go grey"

His response was what I expected- he thought I was being dramatic and didn't really care if I was grey or purple but this is the conversation we had the other night. 

I have been coloring my hair for so long I can't even remember when the first time I did it was....and for the longest time I was just coloring it because it was fun. Then one day somewhere around 23 I saw a pesky grey hair and I knew my life was changing. 
Since then I have been coloring my hair because I had to cover up the grey's and man has it been exhausting.  I just want to stop having to do it every 3 weeks and I want to see what MY hair color looks like and feels like. As part of my exaggerative( is this a word?)  personality I will tell you I am 80% grey but realistically maybe about 15%....let's put it this way- any time you part my hair you will find at least one and he is usually hanging out with a group if friends. 

So the other night when I was about to color it I said F this! I have to tell you...it was so freakin' liberating. It's just like this is who I am and I am 100% okay with it. 
Most of my friends including Matt will laugh and say that I hardly have a lot of grey's and this isn't a big accomplishment but for me it is because it has been such a chore that I thought I had to do...and to know I no longer have this task is very freeing! 

I know when we have the wedding I want to do some highlights to accent the style of my hair and at that point I will color it again but up until then (about a year from now) I am not coloring it....and it's pretty exciting. Not to mention all of the money I am going to save:) 

Please baby jesus don't let me be the kind with the huge silver streak down the side like Elvira...because then I might have to delete this post and jump back on the wagon. 

Best Recipe in the world....yeah I said it

Okay so....I have to say I am very excited to blog about this recipe. Here is why- I really made it on my own using what I had in the house and it turned out amazing. I came up with it one night when I was starving and wanted to make some kind of lasagna using what I had...now it is one of the weekly meals Matt and I have. I am thrilled that it's not something I found on Pinterest although I am sure there is a very similar version out there somewhere. Here is what you need:

Lasagna noodles (9 of them for 3 layers of 3)
32 oz tomato sauce
2 eggs
2 heaping (and I mean HEAPING) spoons of non-flavored greek yogurt
1 cup of Mozzarella
1 cup of cheddar
1/4 cup Parmesan
1 cup of mushrooms
2 zucchinis
1 squash
1/2 eggplant
red pepper (5 sprinkles)
salt (2 sprinkles)
Italian seasoning (2 sprinkles)
garlic powder (2 sprinkles)

Here is the thing...you can really add whatever you want as long as you get the idea of proportion to liquid/solids. For example, the other night I only used mushrooms, zucchini, and squash and did away with the eggplant...I'm getting sick and tired of eggplant for some reason so this week it's on my shit list. Anyways, if you don't like mushrooms use bell pepper or just squash and zucchini- it will all be good. Also, last time I didn't have cheddar so I did 2 cups of mozzarella. So knock yourself out and make it your own but you get the general idea of the recipe. 
In a large skillet you are going to put all the double sliced in half veggies with some oil and start heatin' up. 

Then in a pot put the tomato sauce in it and start heatin' that up. In the tomato sauce you will add in all the sprinkles of stuff- red pepper- salt- garlic powder- Italian seasoning...make this your own too just by tasting it as you go. I had a previous sauce I had made that I froze so mine already had some mushrooms and bell peppers in it....throw whatever the hell you want in that sauce. 

In another large pot you are going to want to boil water and add the 9 lasagna noodles. 
Once the veggies get soft and the sauce is bubblin' go ahead and add the sauce to the skillet with the veggies- mix it all together and let it simmer for about 10 minutes while the noodles cook up. 
Now hop over to a mixing bowl and do the eggs, yogurt, and cheeses. 

Okay now you are going to heat your oven to 450 and grab an 8 inch casserole dish. Drain the cooked noodles and once they cool off a bit you can grab them out and layer 3 at the bottom of the casserole dish. After you do that first layer you are gonna do a layer of the veggie/sauce mix. After the veggie/sauce mix go ahead and plop the yogurt mix and smear it all around. Do this 3 times. 

Go ahead and put it in the oven and let it bubble...usually about 30 min.. 
You guys- trust me on this one. It's a little more work than I prefer but I am telling you...it's really really good. Matt LOVES it. Also, once you make it you have leftovers for at least 2 other meals so you can't really beat that. Trust me on this one. 

Being Sick.

So Matt got back from Germany with a cold...he said he got it in Munich during Oktoberfest which is to be expected with all those drunks walking around breathing on each other. Needless to say he passed it along to me. There is a funny joke comic I once saw about men being big, huge, babies when they are sick but sadly enough...in my world...it is I who is the big fat baby. I blame my mom! She babied me way too much growing up and waited on me hand and foot especially when I was ill (I blame you mother, but I still am happy it happened!). Anyways, now that I am in my adult life traces of my childhood behavior definitely pop up when I am feeling under the weather. TRUTHFULLY- I really do have a viral infection but it's not like I am on my death bed. But I have had to leave early from work most days and went to the doctor once. During this time of being sick I frequently wander into the bathroom, stare at myself in the mirror, and moan. Then I go lay on the bed and call the dogs and tell them how sick I am. When Matt is around I sporadically cry and whimper saying I will never be well again. I was closing up the blinds at night and Matt asked if I shut the window- I went to put my hand on it and then walked away slowly saying I was too weak...I went on the couch and whimpered. I lay on the couch bundled up and text message all my friends about how sick I am hoping to get sympathy messages- it works. I watch say yes to the dress marathons while sipping tea and Matt patiently watches the show too, I think he may be getting into it. The thing is...although I may be acting a little dramatic in my time of sickness...it has made me think over, and over, and OVER again how much I take my health for granted. Man, I have a sore throat, headache, runny nose, and cough and I feel this down?? Imagine having cancer or a permanent ailment...it just made me realize how truly from the bottom of my ever living soul thankful I am to be for the most part healthy and well. I am sure Matt lays in bed and thanks god for the exact same thing. I am so lucky to be able to open my eyes every morning, breathe out of my nose, get up on my two feet, get ready and head on out to work each day. I can't ever forget that and I will try each day not to. 
As for Matt he has been the expected perfect angel but I think deep down he knows he brought this international bug back to me and I didn't even get to enjoy the fest! For that, he will be watching at least 2 more days worth of TLC re-runs of Say yes to the dress and telling me which style dresses he likes best. 

This aint no health post

We can't all be healthy all of the time so I decided to bake cupcakes this weekend...and man did I strike a gold mine! I had a bunch of bananas that were about to be bad so I knew I wanted to make something incorporating the three of them but I also didn't want to make banana bread for the hundredth time. SO why not make banana cupcakes! I found this recipe on Pinterest of course but I changed mine up a bit. As far as cake part of the recipe goes here is what I did differently: I used 3 bananas instead of just 2 and I used almond milk instead of regular. I was a little worried what the almond milk would do to it and it wasn't anything crazy but I do think it played a part in making the cake more dense which I actually really liked. I didn't make the frosting because I wanted to go with a cool little flavor mix up. I bought a whipped milk chocolate frosting and cut up strawberries on top with powdered sugar. Seriously, strawberries and bananas and milk chocolate and powdered sugar!!!!!!!!!!! Matt has already eaten half the dozen. I highly recommend this recipe. And I must add...it felt good to be bad. 

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Banana-and-Vanilla-Cupcakes-with-Buttercream-Frosting/Detail.aspx

Sweet Potato tacos!

So I saw this recipe on making Sweet Potato tacos and I knew I had to try it! I have been really loving sweet potatoes lately and wanted to find different recipes where I could use them. I did change things a bit when I made mine because I didn't have everything it called for. Here is the recipe I found:

http://www.thefauxmartha.com/2013/04/08/sweet-potato-tacos-and-hunger/

I used pinto beans instead of black beans...I didn't have any vegetable or chicken broth so I just did water...and I used chili paste instead of chipotle pepper. Oh and I didn't have cilantro :(

Anyways the recipe was pretty easy once everything was chopped. Man how I hate chopping...and prepping. I wish everything you bought at the store was already chopped...then I would cook the most delicious meals all of the time. I know, I'm lazy. I also have the worlds smallest kitchen so it isn't that enjoyable to be in there chopping and dicin' things up. I hit my elbow on the fridge when I have to chop something!

Here are my pictures:

This is when I first started with half the ingredients chopped and cooking

This is once I had everything in the pan cooking

this is the finished product!

All in all- yes I would make this recipe again. It was really good. The consistency was soft inside but the hard shell gave it a nice crunch. The flavor was great and the avocado topped it off perfectly. I will be making this one for Matt when he gets back! (1 more day)

A really good breakfast

So lately I have been eating a lot better in the mornings. I went through a stage where I wasn't eating all that well. I either had a Starbucks cheese danish or some kind of breakfast burrito with a lot of cheese and potato; it probably wasn't the best way to start my morning and it also explains why I gained weight during that period of my life.Thank god my metabolism was better in high school and college because I ate Jack in the Box mozzarella sticks and curly fires dipped in ranch dressing ever.single.morning. 
Anyways, I was really unhappy with my employment situation and food was kind of my only enjoyment at work. This year I set a goal for myself that I was going to start eating a lot better than I have been in the past. Don't get me wrong- I still enjoy my 'bad' food because I think life would be so bland without it, but I do know it's important to put better food into my body creating a healthier me. I have lost about 12 pounds in the past 5 months which may not be stellar but I can tell the difference! I have kind of reached a stopping point but am still hoping to shed about 5 more pounds to reach my goal weight. I refuse to take any pill or starve myself and I think just slowly over the next 5 months with eating right it should fall off. For breakfast I have changed my burritos and danishes to some type of fruit...basically a banana. I got really bored with it I'm not gonna lie. I mean I don't just have a banana but I will make smoothies or have a mango...but it's usually fruit and while it tastes good its not always that filling and doesn't give me that much fuel. I just can't think of any good ideas that are fast, healthy, and filling. I saw this idea on pinterest and had it today and it was really, really good! It also really filled me up and I wasn't hungry again until lunch. Here is the idea:

http://thechicbrulee.com/2013/04/11/almond-butter-rice-cakes/

So anyways, just thought I would share this good idea and please if you have any I am all ears!

Soak it up

I was pondering my thoughts the other day and was just thinking about life and how I want to live mine. A really cool idea came to my mind which was Make yesterday jealous of today. I think if you always had this in the back of your mind each day you could really make sure you didn't take the day for granted and that you did something that made the day before jealous. It doesn't mean you have to one up each day to where you could no longer top it unless you went to space but it could just be the little things, like smelling a rose! I think it’s just a way to remind ourselves that we should always live to the fullest and appreciate every moment we are given. My friend Erica sent me this really cool video and it’s 7 minutes of your life I am sure you won’t regret. It was neat and made me smile J

http://www.upworthy.com/scientists-discover-one-of-the-greatest-contributing-factors-to-happiness-youll-thank-me

Quick and healthy poser pasta!

So I have really been loving spaghetti squash and the endless possibilities of eating pasta but not really. It really is an amazing substitute.I mean I'll admit it's not the same gooey, soft, melt in your mouth pasta...BUT it really does feel like you are still eating pasta, just a little more crispy :) I cook the spaghetti squash the night before so I don't have to mess with it the next day. To prepare you first preheat the oven to 375. Then you put the squash in a casserole dish (I just lay it in there with a piece of foil underneath so I don't have to clean the dish!) then you have to stick a few holes in the squash to allow for ventilation while it cooks. I use a skewer and do about 15 holes all around...you can use a small knife too. Put it in the oven and bake it for an hour. Take it out, cut it in half and let it cool. Once it's cooled and you can grab it you will use a spoon to scoop out the middle section that isn't really the stringy good stuff you want. You might see the seeds too and you will off course scoop them out. Once you have scooped out the middle from each half you just take a fork and start scraping the sides of the squash and it will just start coming off like strings (noodles!). I just do this as much as I can and then I dump it all in a Tupperware bowl and put in the fridge. So then my dinner for the next day is pretty much done...I will just need to make some good sauce.
The next day I just used tomato sauce, garlic salt, pepper, sea salt, mushrooms, bell peppers, garlic cloves and simmered it on the stove for about an hour while I took a shower and watched bad tv. Then I just scooped out some squash from my tupperware dish in the fridge and heated it in the microwave:

                                                                  The Squash noodles :)

                                                     

                                                   Then I finished up simmering the sauce...

                                                                                         

THEN....the finished product- Spaghetti Squash spaghetti

It was delicious! If I weren't doing Vegan this week I would have added cheese and it would have probably been even more scrumptious. I am testing myself this week to see if I can be a Vegan for a week :) We will see how it goes... 

To anyone who has ever lost hope....

One moment, oh I am sure there have been many- but that one moment so many years ago on that very day, very minute, very second when you knew all was lost. Your head in your pillow with tears streaming down; a million anxieties rushing through creating a pit in your stomach. Fear, dread, sorrow, sadness, anger: the most burdening thoughts upon you. How could you go on? What was there to live for? 
Yet now, just years later it's just a prick of a memory...a drop in the bucket. A thousand years have passed and that day never killed you like you knew it would. What was it? How did you get there and how did you ever lose sight? It fades from your memory now like writing in the sand; wind blowing each grain sideways and water washing over making you forget there was ever any trace. What is there to worry about if knowing it will pass tomorrow..and the next day...the day after that..until years seem like a hundred thousand lives away. This day gone tomorrow with a fresh morning calling upon you more eager than ever, "Get up...get up...let's make yesterday the past". 

Broccoli on the run

So I am always looking for FAST and good meals which isn't always easy. I am just not one to chop up a bunch of stuff..I kind of hate prepping. Anyways, I found a recipe last week for broccoli and made it last night for dinner. We loved it. Matt is my true judge because he is the most amazing cook so if he goes on and on about it then I know it must be a good one. He ate it in  like 45 seconds and wanted more. It was so easy! I didn't take pictures or anything but the recipe will give you an idea. We put it over brown rice :)

So I am really bad because we didn't have coconut oil which is the healthy route...so instead I did butter and some olive oil...ya know just throw in the crap that's the closest. Next time I promise to go the healthier route. 

http://urbanacresmarket.com/roasted-broccoli-with-honey-sriracha-recipe

Oprah…I had my WOW moment.

So this weekend I was spoiled; flat out 100% spoiled. Obviously, last weekend was pretty amazing because I was proposed to and I didn’t think it could get any better than that. The whole week was like I was living in a dream. The week after my engagement it was filled with cards, flowers, and sweet messages from friends congratulating Matt and I. It really touched me to see so much love from everyone about mine and Matt’s commitment to one another. Friday rolled around and Matt and I went to dinner with my parents. We got to discuss wedding plans and eat a pazookie from BJ’s. For my birthday gift my parents gave me money to get my hair done and they bought us a fan. I know a fan might not seem like a big deal to some but it has been 700 degrees (yes, I am exaggerating) in our little home and a fan is a god send. On Saturday I woke up and went to the gym and got my hair done at a friend’s salon. Megan, my co-worker/friend drove to the salon so that we could all have champagne and talk girl talk while I got my hair done. That evening we headed to the birthday gig Amira had been planning for weeks at the Shout House downtown. Shout house is a dueling piano bar that I have wanted to go to ever since I moved to San Diego.

When Matt and I got out of the cab and walked in I was overly excited. There were 5 tables right up front with champagne, buckets of beer, party hats, party glasses, gifts, and my friends smiling faces. The night was filled with so much laughter, presents, drinks, and just pure happiness. They called me up on stage to celebrate my 30^th and you better believe I danced to ‘Get Low’. Seeing all of my friends laughing hysterically and having such a wonderful time really made the night unforgettable; I had the time of my life. The gifts I got were beautiful. Amira made a book that has made me cry every time I’ve opened it; it is filled with pictures and sweet notes from all of my closest friends. Amira even put a page in there coming from Avery! It was the most touching thing to see and read everyone’s notes and it brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. It was so nice to have all my friends from different groups come together – it was like an explosion of love and happiness with all of the best people I know. The next morning Matt and I woke up because we were meeting Amira, Brandon, and Avery for breakfast in Encinitas. Just before we got our drinks at the table I heard my brother and sister in laws voices saying “happy birthday!!!!” I turned around and there they were holding huge balloons and presents. I was speechless for 45 seconds- just staring at them. I seriously thought I was dreaming. They live in Humboldt which is a 14 hour drive and I don’t get to see them nearly as much as I would like to. They drove 5 hours and flew 2 hours into San Diego; I was speechless. We all had breakfast while I opened my many gifts and it could not have been a better morning. Matt and I said our farewells and headed off to the coast where Matt had booked a surprise stay at a hotel. It couldn’t have been a better day driving up the coast thinking about all my family and friends who had come together for my big day. We got into Newport Beach and started driving up this beautiful hill which was the driveway to the resort we would be staying at. It brought us to the Villas at the Marriott. I felt like Cinderella. This place was beautiful and it overlooked the ocean. When we walked into the lobby there was a beautiful deck where you could overlook the resorts 3 pools and the ocean back behind it. The breeze was blowing and it was perfectly warm; I was in heaven. When we walked in to our room I screamed and ran into each room screaming even more. I jumped on the bed throwing myself down on my stomach and telling Matt I was in paradise. The next thing I did was text Amira and call my brother to see if they could come. This place had two master suites and baths attached. It had a full kitchen, living room, and balcony that over looked the ocean. We got into our swimwear and walked the resort ending up at the pool with six bridal magazines. Matt got me a pina colada and we ordered a veggi wrap for a snack. I was sitting there at the pool in absolute heaven thinking of how I was going to blog about my birthday. I was trying to figure out words and descriptions I could use that would really express the happiness I had felt over the weekend. I couldn’t think of anything I could say that would really describe what I was feeling. It then dawned on me that whenever I watch Oprah she always talks about the WOW moment. I get what she is saying and sometimes find her a little cheesy but at that moment I knew this was my moment. I knew that everything I had done in my life, all of my experiences both good and bad had lead me to this very moment. I realized that nothing really matters in life without the ones you love. The first thing I wanted to do when I walked into that villa was have my brother and ‘sister’ come join me because what is anything if you can’t share it with someone? What would the shout house have been if I couldn’t look over at all my friends laughing? What would this ring on my finger be if it weren’t from Matt? It’s never really the things in life but it’s the people you are surrounded by. When I read the notes in my book that Amira made me, my friends say the greatest things about me and I think, “Who am I to have you think this of me- you are the greatest person I know and you think this of me? How did I get this lucky?” It's an overwhelming sense of gratitude to have these people in my life. My friend Allison told me in her note that we are all on this road of life and you can look back in the rearview mirror and reflect on what you have had experienced and who you have touched along the way….my journey to 30 has been filled with many anxieties, tears, fears, worries, and disappointments but it’s also been really amazing too. I have traveled a lot, laughed a lot, eaten really good food, hugged a bunch of cute babies, had wonderful pets, learned many lessons, had a lot of fun crushes, toilet papered a hundred houses, danced a million times, stretched my imagination, and I could go on and on and on. All of these experiences have lead me to this moment when I turned 30 and realized I am surrounded and supported by so much love that it could just explode and last an infinity of a lifetime. I would never need anything more in this life than what I have at this very moment; I am fulfilled. 

Matt and I cancelled our dinner reservations for that night and we ordered pizza hut, drank champagne, and read bridal magazines. I also took a bath at 6 pm when it was daylight out and drank a mimosa- as Matt would say, “I was really livin high on the hog.”

The next morning we woke up and went to Disneyland. Can I just say something? If you want to know when the least busy day at Disneyland is- it’s the second week after all the schools start back. The longest we waited was 15 minutes. It was a dream!!! We went on rides, ate frozen bananas, and people watched. It was a successful day at the park. Matt had been spoiling me rotten so I decided to take him to the ESPN zone to watch football and drink beer…so he could be a man again. He really treated me like a princess this whole week and I couldn’t be more thankful for such a wonderful, caring, and giving person to be engaged to.

I am back to reality now and it’s just as great (okay maybe not 100% as great)! This week was really emotional and important to me because I have really reflected on what I have and what it means in my life. I feel like I am too lucky- how can anyone have this many wonderful people in their life? How do you tell someone how much it means to you that they want to be your friend? I can’t think of words. I have always known what I have but to see it all in front of you at once is indescribable. This is what I have accomplished and it was more than I could have ever hoped for; my life is so incredibly rich, beyond my wildest dreams.

This wasn’t meant to be a brag blog because I hate those. I just wanted to write about all the nice things that were done for me but more importantly point out what really matters in life. What are we all really looking for in this crazy world? I have been on this planet for 3 decades and in this very moment my life may not be totally ‘perfect’ in someone else’s eyes…but in mine, it really is that…perfect. And I think that’s all that ever really matters...seeing your life through your own eyes and seeing your happiness and taking it in completely. Don’t ever forget to take it in.

                                                        My Beautiful Best Friend. 

Man of my dreams

My work girls!

Amira and Jess 

Kelly!

Kevin!

The Hathcocks! (and the piano player)

Reading my book!

Aida <3

the cake Amira had made for me!

my book <3

My brother's surprise!

view from our Villa!

bath time

relaxation

hottest guy in the world

Disneyland

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox